From the Vicar: Confession FAQ

Dear Ones of St. Columba's,

After last week's sermon, in which I discussed the rite of confession, a number of you have expressed curiousity about this practice, and even wondered how one would go about making a confession in this formal way here at St. C's.  For many of us, a formal confession with a priest seems like something that is used more often as a plot device in movies than something that actually happens in real life, much less something that can be both real and spiritually useful to us as members of the Episcopal Branch of the Jesus Movement. Here are some questions that I had when I was new to this way of being Christian, and first started to become curious about how this tradition does formal confession.

What is the difference between a sacrament and a sacramental rite?

The rite of Reconciliation is not, according to our tradition, a sacrament. We have two sacraments - Baptism and Eucharist. These are outward and visible signs of God's invisible grace in our lives, gifts that need to be accessed and available to all, vital to our spiritual health and well being as followers of Jesus and members of God's Church. Many of the rites (rite = a solemn or religious ceremony or act), that you find in the Book of Common Prayer under Pastoral Offices, however, are not considered sacraments in the same way as Baptism and Eucharist. They are sacramental, which means they offer us an experience, blessing, grace, or gift from God and of God that is good for us. But for all of these rites, which include marriage, prayers for the sick, ministrations to the dying, confirmation and reconciliation, we stick to the mantra that I used for comic relief in my sermon: anybody can do them, nobody must do them, some people should do them. No one has to get married in order to be a Christian in right relationship with God. But this rite should be open to all Christians who want God's blessing on their love. And, well, some people probably should get married. And the same goes for Reconciliation. 

What happens when I participate in this rite?

When you want to make a formal confession, the first step is to schedule it. Ideally, only the priest and the penitent are present, and we go through the rite together in sacred space. I like to hear confessions in the sanctuary, sitting side by side. The rite includes prayers, an acknowledgment that both people participating are imperfect humans in need of forgiveness, a time for the penitent to name what they need forgiveness for and for the priest to counsel them, and a pronouncement of God's forgiveness.

What if the priest decides not to forgive me?

Good question! The priest doesn't forgive you. God does. Every time, no matter what. The role of the priest is to pronounce God's forgiveness, but it is always God who does the forgiving.  

How confidential are the things I say to the priest during Reconciliation?

The priest is not allowed to discuss anything said during a confession with anyone else.  Here is what the prayer book says on page 446 "The content of a confession is not normally a matter of subsequent discussion. The secrecy of a confession is morally absolute for the confessor (priest), and must under no circumstances be broken." This means that not only does the priest not tell anyone else, but priests also avoid ever bringing up the content of your confession with you again once it is done. 

Sweet people of St. C's, if you are interested in exploring the rite of Reconciliation, let me or Meghan know. You can do this in person, via email, or by clicking here and filling out an online form. 

Being your priest is such a gift to me, in all the ways we worship, pray, live, and learn together. I want all of you to be aware of this opportunity, which is always available to you. 

With care and gratitude,

Alissa